Hard Reality

Thursday brought a second day at Club Inspire for Boy Wonder where they made Easter cookies and played games. He then went onto dance where they were rehearsing for their next show. As he arrived home, he started to become very high and skittish. He still had football to attend later in the evening but was so hyper that he had to be dressed and put on his weighted jacket for fifteen minutes to help him settle. Superman decided to walk him to football so that he could run 'it' off on the fields on the way down.   This seemed to work as he then was able to cope with training and return in a fairly settled mood, if not a little loud!

Friday was a day at home playing in that garden whilst the builder was here knocking down sheds. Boy Wonder seemed quite level throughout the day but became bored towards tea time. We went to visit cousins and he panicked as his big cousin was playing outside with the neighbours that he didn't know. I asked him if he wanted to come inside instead and he got angry and upset. Big cousin came across to the car and took him to play, introducing him to the others and helping him to join in. Kids just ' get it' sometimes. She's a good big cousin to have around. They played for a while and then we needed to leave. Boy Wonder wasn't too happy about this but coped okay. We arrived home and attempted an early night due to an early football match in the morning.

We have found ourselves talking alot these past few weeks about ADHD and medication. The dilemma isn't that we want him off of the medication but more that we don't know what to think about the yo-yo effect. Let me explain. When Boy Wonder was taking Concerta it had a life of 12 hours which meant that he was level most of the time but it seriously affected his ability to go to sleep and he appeared low in mood. We changed him to Medikinet which is the same medication but lasts for eight hours with half of it release being immediate. He is getting to sleep a little better (most nights) but is waking earlier again. The main dilemma however is that at about 3-4pm his medication has worn off and he is on the ceiling pretty much straight away! We have a tea time quick release methylphenidate if we need it but if he has it he doesn't sleep well at all. We spoke with his Consultant about this who said that the more stable he feels the better but it wouldn't cause any problems as such with his treatment for him to experience his unmediated self.

As parents we feel that it is good for us to experience the rawness of Boy Wonder's ADHD so that we can teach him how to manage it by the use of exercise, deep pressure etc. However, it is affecting him  a lot more than we remembered and its hard work keeping him safe and out of difficultly. It manifests  as impulsivity, third person speech, running off / escapism, saying exactly what is in his head( which isn't always good!) and an aggressive / defiant attitude. If this is challenged he becomes quickly distressed and starts to self harm because he is bad.  Boy Wonder needs to know also what his real self is like but being switched from medicated child to unmediated child and back again brings its own confusion.

In the meantime, whilst we work on this please be patient. All that come across us and spend time with us please understand that we are teaching Boy Wonder ways to self control but this will take time. We know that some of his behaviour is not ideal and this could have a knock on effect with others ( we have Cat Girl too so also have that side to manage.) but the reality is that he isn't in control of himself outside of the boundaries of medication, even if it just looks like he is being a mini teenager from hell. It is so much more than that.

I suppose it hit home with a thud last week when we went out and for the first time ever ( that I remember) we got the looks. Not the ' naughty child' looks but the ' aarrhh he's a special needs child' looks. And that's okay, but its a hard reality.

And so the lesson continues. Lots of caffeine, patience and chocolate required. It's s good job it's Easter!!