Art Therapy Saviour!

A crazy start to the day, consisting of impossible to wake Boy Wonder, skittish and high once awake, calling for a long shower! When finally downstairs he went into panic mode regarding homework ( not due in for a week) and other 'stuff.'

We arrived at school in a frazzled state where Cat Girl decided to hang off of Boy Wonder and refuse to let go. He was becoming increasingly frustrated and she clearly wasn't bothered. I prised her off of him and we had a 'chat.'

Boy Wonder attended his first art therapy session today and seemed to really enjoy it. He said that he made a model of his kitten and a football flag with his team on it. They also talked a bit. He had gone back to school after the session for football club and consequently won ' Man of the Match'  for excellent defending.

When I picked him up, although excited about winning the trophy he was really quite calm. He was able to talk about bits of his day without any show of anxiety, He said that he really liked the art therapy man and had enjoyed himself. Even when we picked Cat Girl up, she was reported to have had three wet accidents, he never said a word.

We got home and they had tea. Boy Wonder put Horrible Histories on and Cat Girl had a paddy. She hit Boy Wonder and his kitten! I spoke with her about this being wrong and she immediately said sorry. Getting a little concerned about her hitting out. I think maybe she sees it as an okay thing to do

Swimming went well except for blocked drains in the showers that smelt a lot!! Boy Wonder was in his new group tonight and was very pleased as his friend was in the same group. ( a boy that was in his previous group that got moved up before him.) lots more swimming tonight, it wore me out just watching him!

This evening Boy Wonder watched more Horrible Histories whilst having supper. He then went up to bed and decided to draw out his new bedroom design. This should be interesting!
   

Tickets Please!

A busy day today starting with digging up potatoes and carrots harvesting the corn. Boy Wonder insisted that he needed a combine harvester, even though there was only eight plants! The ground was a bit soggy which made it hard work so after an hour or so Boy Wonder went inside for a shower. He then watched Horrible Histories until Cat Girl came home from her swimming lesson.

We had a bit of lunch and then went out to a park with friends. Boy Wonder and Cat Girl took their scooters as did the friends we met up with. The park was very busy and Boy Wonder flitted from activity to activity. He and his friend went on the skate park and played with the bigger kids on the ramps. It was more luck than judgement that he stayed upright and without injury but he seemed to have a good time.

For tea we went to a pizza place. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits and hungry.  The restaurant was very echoey and this appeared to work Boy Wonder up. He became very fidgety and was up and down like a yo yo!  It was a good evening however and Boy Wonder seemed to enjoy it more than be hindered by it.

We arrived home and watched Spider-Man before bedtime. Boy Wonder decided to make it a more formal cinema night with tickets and allocated seating, not forgetting the popcorn! It was all very proper !

It was late after the film so Boy Wonder went up to bed for half an hour on Mine Craft before going to sleep .

Rocking Chair = Granny?

It was past midnight before Boy Wonder finally fell to sleep, however he was up again by 7.30! He was very high and demanding but played reasonably well. We spoke to Boy Wonder, asking him how he thinks he can calm himself down when he is anxious, giving him examples of the previous week. He said that he would do press ups and sit ups as this helped him because it was heavy on his arms. He then demonstrated this! I think he has a point and we agreed that this could be part of the morning routine, however is too controlled to use in near meltdown.

We talked about getting a rocking chair and showed Boy Wonder some pictures. Initially he wasn't keen and said that they were for Grannies. We decided that the best way would be to show him some so made plans to go to Ikea after dance. 

After making a den at the bottom of the stairs, boy Wonder and Cat Girl got ready and had breakfast. Boy Wonder went to dance whilst Cat Girl and I went to get the car valeted. Although they did a lovely job, I think they must have used a full can of polish inside as everything was really slippy including the steering wheel!

We went home, had lunch and went to Ikea. Although we had a very definite idea of what we wanted we became distracted and ended up picking Boy Wonder a long awaited captain bed and furniture to go with it. Super Man got the measurements and details and is planning the design whilst we wait for the bed to come back into stock next week. We then went to try out the  rocking chairs and Boy Wonder gave the chosen one a vigorous rocking test.  The chair is also quite wide so will allow for the firm hold technique if needed. It looks like it will take a good  pounding as well so we are hopeful! 

Ikea was very busy and Boy Wonder was getting stressed, Cat Girl was also getting a bit restless. Super Man put them on the flat pack trolley and wheeled them through to the check out. Eventually we got out and after packing the car headed for a brief trip to the supermarket before going home. 

Super man built the rocking chair when we got home whilst Boy Wonder played on the Wii. We had dinner and he played with the boy next door for the rest of the evening.  He then settled down in his rocking chair and watched Atlantis.  A reasonably stress free day !!

Strategies.....

Lots of talking to people today about anxiety, impulsivity, impact on sibling and responsibilities. Always very interesting that as parents we work tirelessly to manage situations, safe guard our children and do the best we can, yet we are still expected to do more. And we will always do more, we will do whatever it takes. However  it all seems so heavily weighted against us at times and when the anxiety is born out of a source that you have no control over, it is often in vain.

To manage meltdowns when coming out of school we have been advised to collect the children separately, use staged intervention, I.e insist on calm before leaving school, reaffirm before getting in the car and again before driving off. Stop the car if anxiety starts to escalate and wait for calm and so on till we get home. We then isolate Boy Wonder and use a controlled method of anxiety reduction with him.

We completely understand the logic of these strategies and can understand how they could work if the child has any control of their emotions. Boy Wonder holds his anxiety in during the school day and then due to the build up he loses control so quickly at the end of the day. The staged technique may work on occasional days where his anxiety is not so high but how can it possibly work when a child is not in control of their emotions and is in meltdown?

We have agreed to try some elements of this. Where possible we will try the staged approach to leaving school, however we will not be waiting outside of the car until he is calm as he is highly likely to bolt and run into the road. We are going to alter the seating in the car to put more space between the children and we are going to develop a method to positively reduce anxiety in the home. ( a project for the weekend) . Watch this space!

So that was the bulk of the conversations today, except that the Psychiatrist has confirmed that she has spoken with the EducationalPsychologist and stated that in her opinion, Boy Wonder does need support in school to reduce his anxiety. She has said this numerous times in her reports but has now also rang him up to reiterate her opinion!  Oh and as we are hitting a brick wall with Occupational Therapy, Boy Wonder is being referred to a Hearing Consultant who specialises in hypersensitive hearing.

So things are happening on the medical side of things but as for the educational side, it is all looking a bit woeful.  We have a meeting next week that is likely to have a poor attendance due to the date and time not being distributed but nether the less we will attend and do our bit.

Today Boy Wonder has been very excited as he was going to his friend's house after school to have tea and watch a movie. He seemed to have a great time and wants to go again!!

He is still up watching the Iplayer, unable to settle and I am sat in bed writing the blog, eating chocolate trifle . Well it is nearly the weekend!  

Runaway Attempt!!

A late night at work meant that didn't get time to blog last night. Yesterday was slightly more settled in some ways. Boy Wonder was still being very intense with his questions and seemed generally on edge. His teacher said that his spontaneous singing and use of fiddles had increased somewhat too.

After school we went to dance. I was dreading this after yesterday but he walked in with less fuss. However he insisted in going in alone which is always worrying! I made the excuse that Cat Girl needed the loo ( as she had had another accident today) so had to go on but wouldn't go to his room with him .I loitered around know that he would try something and a minute later was back down the stairs insisting that  he needed the toilet with his teacher behind him. She saw me and went back to teaching as I said that I would bring him up after. This was easier said than done as be attempted to run! I finally coaxed him back to his class and waited down stairs with Cat Girl doing her spellings whilst he danced.

At the end of dance,although he had worked well, he wasn't happy.We had agreed to go to MacDonalds later for a treat so I nipped them off there and this seemed to divert him a little.

Once home I got 'the call' and needed to go into work. Super Man took over and got them ready for bed. Boy Wonder had a bath and ended up asleep by 9.30 which was good! 

Is that a Rhetorical Question?

It was a crazy morning this morning. It was raining a lot, I lost my door keys, broke the door handle and Boy Wonder interrogated me on the possible location of the keys and the dangers of leaving the door unlocked! I tried to explain that if I knew the location of the keys then they wouldn't be lost, this just confused him more and led to more questions. I did end up pleading with him to stop asking so many questions and explained that not everything I said required a response. He stopped, looked very thoughtful and said 'You mean that you are asking rhetorical questions?' ' exactly 'I said. ' Do you know what that means ?' 'Yes,' said Boy Wonder, ' It means asking questions that don't require an answer. Pointless really!'

We got to school looking like drowned rats. I briefly explained that Boy Wonder may not be too happy about me leaving the door unlocked to come to school but to reassure him as necessary that I will be going straight home to deal with it. And indeed I did. Our Wednesday angel was there when I got back so we managed to sort it quickly.

Whilst at work I received a call from school saying that Cat Girl had, had a little accident and needed some more clothes. It was an hour before the end of the day so Grandad helped me out by nipping over to school with some spare bits. When I got to school I spoke to her teacher about the accident and explained that Cat Girl tends to have accidents when Boy Wonder's anxiety levels are high, which they have been, especially this week. Cat Girl confirmed this later when were alone, saying that when Boy Wonder is sad and shouting at her, this made her unhappy. We had a chat about why he does this and she seemed happier afterwards. Bless her heart.

Boy Wonder was clearly tense when I picked him up from school. He didn't bring his home, school diary home so there was no clue as to why. He complained of tummy ache and kept hitting his hands on his head and covering his ears, saying that it was too noisy. He shouted and kicked and thrashed around in the car. I encouraged him to go to drama club but only to talk to them about him being too ill to stay. Throughout the journey he shouted and made loud growling noises at Cat Girl.

Once at drama, the staff helped immensely by talking to Boy Wonder and he agreed to stay as long as they rang me if he felt more unwell. He spent the first half an hour doing 'jobs' with the staff and then they slowly introduced him to the session. By the time that Cat Girl and I returned to drama, Boy Wonder seemed a little more settled but it was clear that it wouldn't take much to set him off again

We got into the car and he immediately started to shout and cry. Not clear why, I reassured him and drove home, attempting to distract him with Starlight Express. It's days like this that travelling in the car whilst Boy Wonder is at full throttle, is worrying.  There really is no option as most of the time we are travelling from school to home  or vice versa. Seriously considering putting the back seats up in the car to provide extra support .

This evening Boy Wonder sat quietly watching Horrible Histories and News-round and looked very tired. By 8.30pm he was asleep. I don't think I will be far behind him.!

Opera Anyone?!

This morning awoke a more settled Boy Wonder. He showered, dressed then used the new Aqua Fresh teeth cleaning app with Cat Girl to clean their teeth to. Hopefully the novelty will last a while as getting him to clean his teeth is really hard work!

We got to school and I spoke to the teacher about yesterday briefly and explained that although he was looking forward to the religious education themed day today that it may be worth being vigilant about him getting obsessive over the theme, especially because he has taken to reading the bible again at home. In particular the Moses story. Boy Wonder has a history of anxiety build up relating to   the bible and what he perceives to be death related themes.

I met with Boy Wonder's teacher after school to review his IEP. We spoke about the targets which are  emotional / social based rather than academic. We talked about Boy Wonder's anxiety levels and how this manifested through headaches and tummy aches. She also enlightened me into the fact that Boy Wonder has taken to spontaneous operatic style singing in the classroom as well as equally spontaneous echoing of phrases that she says. Of course I didn't laugh, just smiled!  We spoke about his work station maybe being a bit too big and intrusive now and that he should guide on whether he needs it it not. The teacher is also going to speak to him about making a smaller work station.  We agreed to try a star and a wish style home school diary which is basically ' what I did well and what I would have like to have changed.' This is likely to be a slow but sure tool but we agreed that we need Boy Wonder to start to try and tell us things and give him as many opportunities as we can to attempt this. 

Before we left his teacher explained to him about the star and a wish book and he volunteered that he had really enjoyed the R.E day and that he wished that they could do more about bible stories. We shared a glance and winced a little. Cat Girl had a little accident before we left school which Boy Wonder reacted to quite harshly. His teacher managed him well and saw how cutting and unjust he can be with Cat Girl over something quite simple and 'normal ' for a four year old. 

This evening Boy Wonder went to piano and did really well, however did seem fairly worked up, perhaps about the IEP meeting and the little Cat Girl accident. We went to a shop after where Boy Wonder wanted to buy a toy that his friend had. He knew the part of the name of it but that was it, making it impossible to find. He decided on a remote control helicopter instead which a customer in the shop advised on the best model as some are practically impossible to fly! Cat Girl bought a little doll and a cat set ( surprise surprise) and we came home.

Before bed Super Man and Boy Wonder played with the helicopter. Super Man enjoying it a bit too much, the big kid! It was a nice Father, Son moment and Boy Wonder felt pleased with himself for getting it to fly and move around. When it ran out of charge, he settled down to watch the bake off programme before bed.